Its 9:49 in the morning when I am writing this blog. Yesterday at around 12:00 p.m., I was with someone whom I know since an year now. Today I had breakfast with another senior with whom I have worked a lot.
But, What is this with me?
I felt this way twice before. Both leading to the conclusion that I am not good with girls. I become nervous when I talk to girls. But why this time??
I am talking about my incapability to keep someone engrossed for even a small time.
The first time when I realised this was when I went to meet a girl who was an old friend from school. I thought I would have so much to talk about. We would laugh, enjoy and stuff. But when I was with her, I didn't have anything to speak. Uff!! It was so embarrassing. After a brief sad talk for about 10 minutes, when I sat back in the car, It came to back to me-"Dude, you could have asked her about Saawariyaan!! You know girls liked Ranbir Kapoor! Or may be you could have started the topic on where are our common friends. If not something, at least you could have said, whats up these days. Or may be told whats up in my life. But no, DO NOT SPEAK. Why do I get nervous?"
Again, In MI 2008, A friend (very generously) introduced me to a friend (who was a girl). We were sitting together. Not a single word. I could not speak anything. Even when she asked me something, I would give the "Shortest Answer Possible". Why was I doing that? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I came to the conclusion. I am not comfortable with girls. This may be because I am an IITian and most IITians do not even get to smell a girl.
But, since an year now, I am experiencing something more.
With these experiences, I think there is one problem. The problem that many of us face.
I don't have enough topics for everyone. "Remember the time in OSL Lab when you told that story about Aishwariya Rai and his father and everyone in the lab was so impressed with the story and hence the story teller. And that story was followed by the funny incident of Sachin Tendulkar. Oh my God! I am on top of the world. Now the guy who laughed the loudest meets me next day. Happy and smiling, as if expecting another good one. Argh! Stop it! I dont have anything to speak. Run away from here. Look tensed! Look busy! Look as if you have so many assignments to complete today! I wish I had one topic to start! Please God! Please! Yes..I got it. Heyy...you had that music competition yesterday naa. How did it go? Pheww!! Thank God!" I happened to me not once, many many times.
Yesterday evening and today again. I know most of the things I am allowed to know about those seniors. I know there is nothing up in their life because we talked about this 24 hours back. You obviously do not expect a lot to happen in 24 hours! But you got to start a conversation. Main aisa kyun hoon? Main aisa kyun hoon? In both the occasions, I went back without talking. Why? Why do I feel that I do not have anything to discuss with anyone?
Someone please help! Don't suggest me to read wikipedia or Readers Digest. I have tried that. I believe I have more "General Knowledge" than most of my other friends. Its just that it takes me time to search the database and get one for you on the fly. More importantly, it does not come out naturally.
Good news!! I can discuss this post with some good friends and hence I have made one topic for discussion. God! Please remind me of this topic when I meet people.